Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Honestly, I'm really stressed out - no apparent reason either other than getting into the habit of my internship and still not being able to figure out whether I'll be studying abroad during fall or spring, if at all. I can't think of a controversial topic or anything thought provoking. No, here's another personal post.
My room is such a mess and I have my artwork piled up everywhere. Though I definitely feel more motivated with creative endeavors, I'm simply too stressed/busy to attempt to go through it and find a place for it all. Seriously, why did I think I'd ever use nearly a hundred mismatched bowls, cups, and other ceramic items?
I have my prom in a little more than a week, and before I go I plan on dying my hair back to its natural color. I'm not even stressed about that, though. One of my best friends is in beauty school, so she can do it for me whenever and it's pretty much just hanging out rather than feeling obligated to make small talk with the hair stylist.
That's another thing: small talk. I'm an introvert. I keep to myself, by nature. I don't share my every though nor do I strike up conversation all the damn time. It's a hassle for me, honestly. I think I've come out of my shell enough where I can talk to people without being crippled by anxiety - or simply text someone to see what's up without getting incredibly nervous - but I'm not the kind of person that talks all the time. I observe, I soak up my surroundings, etc.
With all of that being said, I'd like to take a moment to reflect upon how far I've come in that aspect. You know, my "social life" aka the most important part of high school. I used to sit in all the time wishing I had something to do, despite my comfort being alone sometimes. I think the difference is that I was lonely, not simply alone, y'know? Over this past year and a half I've made quite a few friends... many of whom are merely acquaintances, but I've also gained some solid friends.
Hurrah. I do prefer this feeling over being insatiably bored, but I suppose I'm just trying to explain my absence. I don't think I'm doing a great job though - or perhaps I am, considering how poorly constructed this entire post is. I'm not trying to be critical, but normally I put more thought into writing. Sometimes it's nice to just let the words come to me instead of desperately trying to find them.
Hopefully by next week I'll be back to blogging more frequently. And then the following week I graduate! This is madness. The good kind, of course.